Writings

Let Yourself Land (part 3)

Thanks to Danielle Wills for inspiring this entire trilogy, sometimes people have no idea how much their words affect, inspire and heal others and I hope mine can give at least one person as much help as Danielle’s gave to me.

And once you’ve landed in that love for yourself, know this.
They will feel it.
They will want to be part of it.
And they will try everything in their power to prove to you that they should bask in your new found happiness with you.

“And they will try everything in their power to prove to you that they should bask in your new found happiness with you.”

@tozandothersaltywords


By then though, you’ve already gone through the rollercoaster,
Got off and
Walked onto the next ride.
Don’t get me wrong, when they show up, it’ll hurt.
You’ll wonder why they couldn’t have said all of these things,
Been all of these things,
loved you like that,
When you were together.
But you smile to yourself knowing that when you walked away, you knew that was probably going to have to be forever.

“By then though, you’ve already gone through the rollercoaster, got off and walked onto the next ride.”

@tozandothersaltywords


You’ll think about how far you have come.
Yes, tears will fall, as your memory triggers to every iota of pain you had to overcome and yes it’ll feel shit, the flood gates will open, you will howl on your floor half screaming in anger at them and the other at you for ever letting someone treat you like that.

“Yes, tears will fall, as your memory triggers to every iota of pain you had to overcome”

@tozandothersaltywords


The empowering part will be that through all those tears you do not want them back, but are ready to finally say the last goodbye.
You will sit up and realise they are the final tears.
The final hurt,
The last time the salt water will cascade down your cheeks because of them.
And as you let the final drops fall, you feel lighter.
You inhale and feel the breath enter your lungs fully, as if for the first time.

You’re now fully ready, for what’s next.

“You will sit up and realise they are the final tears.
The final hurt,
The last time the salt water will cascade down your cheeks because of them.”

@tozandothersaltywords

@tozandothersaltywords

Letting yourself Land (part 2)

Crash landing & letting go

Letting go isn’t necessarily what you need to do. Letting yourself land, puts you in a space where eventually you realise one day that you have let go.

Just saying let go makes it feel like an instant occurrence…as if you can just be done with what’s causing you pain. But you can’t. It is not instant and it is not going to happen when you want it to or think you need it to. I’m sorry to say you will have to sit with it.

“It is not instant and it is not going to happen when you want it to or think you need it to.”

@tozandothersaltywords

You will have to land in the uncomfortable matrix you’ve ended up in. It will be raw and uneasy and sometimes the landing will be bumpy as hell, you might even crash land, but…once you have landed, you feel it.

“You will have to land in the uncomfortable matrix you’ve ended up in.”

@tozandothersaltywords

You feel the ground beneath your feet, the soil, the mud, the grass, the tarmac, whatever you’ve imagined landing on. And you stand up. Just like that you have landed…and once you’ve landed in that moment of emotions, you have no other option but to begin following your feet all over again.

“once you’ve landed in that moment of emotions, you have no other option but to begin following your feet all over again.”

@tozandothersaltywords

Re-trusting your decisions, your path, re-finding your worth and self love. It won’t all be smiles and joy, but my gosh it will heal you, it will teach you true love for yourself. And once you have that love for yourself, no one will be able to break that ever again.

“It won’t all be smiles and joy, but my gosh it will heal you, it will teach you true love for yourself.”

@tozandothersaltywords

@tozandothersaltywords 💛

Never the Same Again

In that moment, as if by magic
she felt it.
She opened her heart and felt all that had been in front of her this whole time.
It was all the beautiful souls in her life lifting her up,
They were and are her love, her life choice.
Each one gifting her their own sparks of magic.

“She opened her heart and felt all that had been in front of her this whole time. “

@tozandothersaltywords

That’s the beauty of her friends,
Not one of them came with expectation , judgement or demands, each one was happy and content to just be.
Not one of them demanded her energy but would receive it when needed
In a similar fashion to the way they gave theirs when she was in need.
They balanced each other and that forcefield was filled with enough power to light up the darkest spaces any of them could fall into.

“They balanced each other and that forcefield was filled with enough power to light up the darkest spaces any of them could fall into.”

@tozandothersaltywords

That was the love for life she wanted, and as she realised that, accepted that, she knew she’d never be the same again.

Sexy and Free

The curve of her waist
The warmth of her skin
The scent of her neck
The softness of her breast
The swish of her hair
The taste of her tongue
The body she loves
That keeps her alive
Is sexy and free
Beyond the controls
Of what society expects it to be.

@tozandothersaltywords

“Let yourself Land” – Danielle Wills

“I’m thinking less along the lines of ‘let go’ and more along the lines of ‘let yourself land’ […] Let yourself land in the memory of all the times you’ve landed and survived before.” – (extract from Danielle Wills’ podcast Headrest, episode entitled – For when your world is crumbling down)

As Danielle says, there’s a lot of talk about letting go.
As if it magically happens over night and
Just like that, you’ve released all the things clouding your happiness and stifling your better judgment.

Letting go is not this though
It definitely does not happen overnight
And in the moments you think that you have let go, you can very quickly find yourself back at what feels like square one.

Letting go is a process
A heart wrenching, soul shaking, tear making, hysteria inducing process.
It takes time and patience with yourself.
It takes love for yourself.
It needs you standing by yourself, smiling and happy with yourself in every moment, even the shitty ones.

“Letting go is a process
A heart wrenching, soul shaking, tear making, hysteria inducing process.”

@tozandothersaltywords

So, do not lambast yourself when you haven’t let go,
Stop being hard on yourself when you feel you regress.
The journey is not one straight road continually going forwards
It is a path that will make u-turns, loop de loops and even full blown round trips to make you retread over familiar ground.

“It is a path that will make u-turns, loop de loops and even full blown round trips to make you retread over familiar ground.”

@tozandothersaltywords

All of this is the adventure of letting go and loving you,
Do not be angry with yourself when it takes a path you weren’t planning.
Trust the process and be kind to yourself always.

Then finally, instead of letting go, you more, let yourself land.
Let yourself land into a space where letting go becomes part of your life’s journey rather than a destination.

“Let yourself land into a space where letting go becomes part of your life’s journey rather than a destination.”

@tozandothersaltywords

The rollercoaster

“You’re going to have moments like this and then in a moment, it changes.”
(Grandma, aged 88, 24 September 2020)

When someone takes up your time and emotional energy, they also become what drains you. You can willingly give this energy, and you do, to the people you love, but with that love and giving you must find time and space for yourself.

You must not lose yourself or who you are and most importantly do not lose control of your own life. Understand, love and be compassionate, know that when a person you love does not treat you in a way you would expect, often it is not due to you or something you have done but it is in fact (and most likely) due to something from their past or in their life that they are trying to deal with, or refuse to deal with. They may not even know that it exists.

You can be there for them, but if they don’t want you to be, you may have to walk away for a while, that while may also be forever. Whatever that person is fighting, to get over it and find peace, strength and love in themselves they must face their demons on their own.

You may have to walk away for a while, that while may also be forever.

@tozandothersaltywords


Do not think you should have done more when you have done all you can to try and help them, be there for them and understand them. Once you have gone through all of that, the hardest part is then to let go, to sever that bond. To acknowledge the reality and truly feel like you can let go, with all of you.

Do not wait for the call, the message, the email. Realise and know that if a person wants to be in your life, they will put themselves in it. You can’t control people and what you think they need may not be what they think they need or what they want.

Realise and know that if a person wants to be in your life, they will put themselves in it.

@tozandothersaltywords


So with all the hurt you may feel from it, the lows and the aching, the need to scream, cry, shout, sing and laugh.
Do them all!
Embrace them all!
Feel everything from lost and alone, to bright eyed and bushy tailed. Ride that rollercoaster and take the downs where you question yourself and choices you made. Scream and laugh in the highs where you see the entire horizon and it is as if everything in life looks so perfect and all problems seem so small in that moment way up high.

Wherever you lie in any moment on that rollercoaster never stop loving you. Be who you are and know there is no wrong or right, just a serious of moments, actions and ways forward for life.

@tozandothersaltywords